Psychologists: big break in relationships comes one to two years before separation

The big break comes one to two years before a couple separates Keystone-SDA

Many people ask themselves whether their relationship will last. A clear sign exists that it could soon be over, according to an analysis with Swiss participation.

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The final stage of a relationship typically takes place in two phases: initially, satisfaction with the relationship gradually decreases, followed by a rapid decline around one to two years before the break-up, explained Janina Bühler from the University of Mainz. She analysed partnerships and their dissolution together with Ulrich Orth from the University of Bern.

It has long been known that relationship satisfaction generally declines somewhat over the course of a romantic relationship and is not yet a cause for concern. According to the study presented in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, a decline occurs particularly in the first few years of being together, with a particular low point often occurring after ten years.

Long-term studies show clear picture

The researchers looked at the results of four previous studies from Germany, Australia, the UK and the Netherlands. During the long-term studies, the participants were regularly asked about their relationship and their lives. “This means that the statements were not made retrospectively, but we can track exactly how the separation came about,” Bühler explained.

According to the study, the relationship satisfaction of couples who break up declines gradually at first, sometimes over many years, until there is a major break-up. After this point, the couples analysed separated within seven to 28 months – all of them, according to the study. “Once this phase has been reached, separation occurs later without exception,” Bühler said.

However, couples often only seek professional help at the breaking point – in other words, when it is usually too late. “If the partners are in the preterminal phase, before things start to go downhill, efforts to improve the relationship can be more effective and a separation can perhaps be prevented,” Bühler said.

Translated from German by DeepL/ts

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