Part-time Swiss Abroad: raising children between countries

On the move: living between two countries can be an exercise in organisation, especially with school-age kids. Keystone / Ennio Leanza

More and more Swiss are embracing a hybrid lifestyle, living and working across borders. But when kids and school schedules enter the picture, this international juggling act gets a lot more complicated.

“Until he was three, the situation was easy enough to manage,” says Karin*, who divides her time between Switzerland and Scandinavia with her young son Mario*. “But when he started school, the lack of playmates and all the things needing to be done for school just complicated things.”  

Living and working in two countries at the same time is tricky enough at the best of times; Karin’s account of things shows just how complex it can become when children are involved.  

A sense of security 

It is just as essential to provide some kind of emotional security for children for stays of just a few months as it is to emigrate for good. “You have to communicate openly and honestly about what’s going to happen, take the child’s concerns seriously and talk about their feelings,” says Regula Neuenschwander from the Institute of Psychology at the University of Bern. 

Karin has taken this advice in the case of her own son, and it seems to work. “When there is an important event coming up, I talk it over with Mario so we can look forward to some aspect of it… then things are not so spectacular and he takes it as something ‘normal’,” she says.  

Regula Neuenschwander, from the University of Bern, also lived abroad during her childhood. Luca Christen 2019

The ability to adapt to new situations also depends on the personality of the child, Neuenschwander points out. Most of all, the parents need to provide a role model, showing that they themselves are also flexible and resilient in dealing with all kinds of situations. 

Keeping up the connection

Rituals also have an influence on the child’s well-being. Karin notes that having “Swiss” toys helped Mario feel at home when they were in the other country. 

Neuenschwander believes it’s necessary to strike a balance between the culture of origin and the adopted culture and maintain it as much as possible, throughout the year. This continuity helps to reassure children. 

Providing a social life  

One of the main difficulties to living in two countries has to do with being able to provide a social life for children.  

As a freelance worker, Karin was never able to place her son in child care, as it could not provide the particular hours of care she needed. As a solution she used various au pair services during her stays in Scandinavia to stimulate the boy’s social instincts. 

Parents can make a great contribution to the social life of their children by helping them learn the language of the host country, so they can communicate and make contacts there. 

A cantonal matter 

Spending a few months abroad with children means organisation, but the complexities just increase once they are of school age. 

In most Swiss cantons, school attendance is compulsory from the age of four on. However, under the federal system, schooling is a cantonal responsibility. So it is really indispensable for parents to inform themselves about the details of schooling in conjunction with the authorities in their canton of residence. There are some general rules that apply. 

Taking children out of school 

During an absence of less than three months (90 days), children have to be excused from attending the school where they are registered. It is possible to apply again the following year, but the decision is up to each school. There is no real uniformity in the matter, even within the same canton. 

During the first two years of school attendance, Karin asked for her son to be excused from school for less than three months. “The first time, the school administration was very open and understanding about this. The next year, I had to provide more justification,” she recalls. Her home canton is Bern.

Once the application for an absence from school is approved, “we suggest that parents contact their child’s school so as to find out what work has to be done during the absence,” says Stève Blaesi, who is head of regular French-speaking schooling at the Bern cantonal department of public education and culture. 

Rarely more than three months 

In the case of an absence of more than three months, most cantons decide that “the child’s place of residence is no longer the home municipality in Switzerland, and so the obligation to attend school in the canton no longer applies,” says Blaesi.  

It is possible to apply ad hoc for longer absences, but in canton Vaud for example, an absence is not usually approved for two school years in a row.  

“We think that it is in the pupil’s interest to offer him or her an overall educational programme, which is not really possible with schooling in two different countries or school systems,” explains Laurène Weguener, communication officer at the Vaud department of schools and vocational training. 

When such an application is turned down, the parents can still appeal to the cantonal authorities which are responsible for the matter.  

Home schooling 

Home schooling is one alternative, but it needs to be long-term and not just a stop-gap solution. Besides, the canton needs to approve it, and conditions vary considerably between cantons. 

The cantons of Bern, Vaud and Zurich are unwillling to recognise distance education arrangements, but all three indicate that parents are free to use this option for private education or during long-term absences. 

At school in two countries? 

Vaud, for example, “encourages parents to school their child in the country they are in. This can be a factor in favour of granting an absence”, notes the department of schools and vocational training.  

If the cultural distance between the two countries is not too great, Neuenschwander suggests as much as possible to try to integrate into the local system, which helps children “get the stability they need.”

In Karin’s case, this couldn’t always be done, for neither she nor her young son speak the language of their host country. 

What’s more, private schools are more likely to accept alternate schooling than public schools. 

Prioritising the child 

For Karin, it was always clear that she would stop spending periods of several months in Scandinavia as soon as her son was ready to enter the first year of primary school in canton Bern.

“It doesn’t matter if I spend less time abroad, the schooling and the social life of my son have priority,” she says, looking forward to the calm and stability which this change can be expected to bring into their lives. 

Edited by Pauline Turuban

Adapted from French by Terence MacNamee/ds

*pseudonym