How do you feel about handshakes and hugs?

Catherine 2022-08-20 03:17

The following contribution has been automatically translated from FR.

I am lucky to live in Japan, and here physical contact does not exist. No kisses, no handshakes! Instead, bows when you have to be very polite, otherwise just a wave. Since I've been living here for more than 40 years, now I also hate shaking hands with strangers or even worse kissing them. So the Covid is very convenient for me, so I can give a reason for refusing without hurting my interlocutor!

J’ai la chance de vivre au Japon, et ici le contact physique n’existe pas. Pas de bises, pas de poignée de mains! À la place, des courbettes quand il faut être très poli, sinon juste un signe de la main. Étant donné que j’habite depuis plus de 40ans ici, maintenant je déteste aussi serrer la main d’inconnus ou pire faire la bise. Donc le Covid m’arrange beaucoup, comme ça je peux donner une raison pour refuser sans blesser mon interlocuteur!

Catherine 2022-08-20 03:17

The following contribution has been automatically translated from FR.

I am lucky to live in Japan, and here physical contact does not exist. No kisses, no handshakes! Instead, bows when you have to be very polite, otherwise just a wave. Since I've been living here for more than 40 years, now I also hate shaking hands with strangers or even worse kissing them. So the Covid is very convenient for me, so I can give a reason for refusing without hurting my interlocutor!

J’ai la chance de vivre au Japon, et ici le contact physique n’existe pas. Pas de bises, pas de poignée de mains! À la place, des courbettes quand il faut être très poli, sinon juste un signe de la main. Étant donné que j’habite depuis plus de 40ans ici, maintenant je déteste aussi serrer la main d’inconnus ou pire faire la bise. Donc le Covid m’arrange beaucoup, comme ça je peux donner une raison pour refuser sans blesser mon interlocuteur!

Frodo 2022-07-31 10:48

The following contribution has been automatically translated from DE.

It is gratifying that boxing, elbowing and hooking have now been abolished again. Whether giving a hand to a stranger is better is questionable, especially if you look at how many people leave the toilet in the shopping center without washing their hands despite or perhaps because of the pandemic measures. There it is understandable if one greets strangers only verbally.
Can one actually speak of a common greeting ritual in a multi-cultural environment?
And how does the other person feel during the respective "ritual"? How do you recognize what the person wants and what not?

Es ist erfreulich dass nun die Box-Hiebe, das Ellbögeln und das Haken-Stellen wieder abgeschafft wurden. Ob das Handgeben gegenüber einer fremden Person besser ist, ist fraglich, zumal, wenn man sich mal achtet wieviele Personen im Shoppingcenter die Toilette verlassen ohne die Hände zu waschen trotz oder vielleicht gerade wegen den Pandemiemassnahmen. Da ist es verständlich wenn man Fremde nur verbal begrüsst.
Kann man eigentlich in einem Multi-Kulti-Umfeld von einem üblichen Begrüssungsritual sprechen?
Und wie fühlt sich das Gegenüber beim jeweiligen "Ritual"? Woran erkennt man was die Person will und was nicht?

曠野洋一 2022-07-26 00:01

The following contribution has been automatically translated from JA.

In Japan, we seldom greet people with contact.
We just use words.
Therefore, there is no change.
Yet the number of infected people is increasing.
As the number of infected people increases, the possibility of mutation increases.
We can no longer go back to the previous state, can we?
Will not habits change as well?

日本では、人と接触する挨拶はほとんどしません。
言葉でするだけです。
ですから変化はありません。
それでも感染者が増えています。
感染者が増えれば、変異する可能性が高くなります。
もう以前の状態には戻れないのではないでしょうか？
習慣も変化していくのではないでしょうか？

Klaus Gyger 2022-05-28 16:51

The following contribution has been automatically translated from DE.

I now live in Mexico, a country as conservative as ours was 70 years ago. But the greeting is warm, you hug each other, pat the other on the shoulder and the women hint at a "Münschi". Or one on the cheek. Somewhat weakened as taken over from the "French time". I like it!

Ich lebe nun in México, ein Land so konservativ wie bei uns vor 70 Jahren. Die Begrüssung ist aber herzlich, man umarmt sich, klopft dabei dem anderen auf die Schulter und bei den Frauen Andeutug eines "Münschi". Oder eines auf die Wange. Etwas abgeschwaecht wie von der "franzoesischen Zeit" übernommen. Finde ich gut!

schwizer 2022-05-23 18:16

The following contribution has been automatically translated from DE.

I am very happy that everything is possible again in Switzerland. However, as a Swiss abroad in Germany, I would like to avoid hugs and kisses as a greeting until further notice. Shaking hands is absolutely fine. Any bowing or boxing is not. Then rather no greeting.

Ich bin sehr froh, dass in der Schweiz wieder alles möglich ist. Allerdings als Auslandschweizerin in Deutschland, möchte ich Umarmungen und Küssli zur Begrüßung bis auf weiters vermeiden . Händeschütteln ist absolut gut. Irgendwelche Verenkungen oder Boxen nicht . Dann lieber keine Begrüßung.

Ka-Hi 2022-05-13 09:33

The following contribution has been automatically translated from JA.

I have friends who live in Switzerland. My last visit to Switzerland was exactly 4 years ago. It was completely impossible for me to go abroad in Corona. Hugs and handshakes used to be the norm, and I feel that with them, being an old head Japanese, I would be happy to hug or shake hands the next time I see them. However, I am not sure if I would be able to shake hands with anyone. This is because I have been ingrained with the idea of wearing a mask, keeping my distance from people, and thoroughly disinfecting my hands and fingers with alcohol. I think it's best to go with the locality, so if I could go to Europe, I might be able to step out of the way, depending on the circumstances.

私にはスイスに住む友人たちがいます。私が最後にスイスを訪れたのはちょうど4年前になります。コロナですっかり海外に出かけることは不可能な状態でした。以前は当たり前のようにハグも握手もしていましたし、彼らとなら古い頭の日本人である私も今度会えたら嬉しくてハグでも握手でもできるような気がします。しかしながら、だれとでも握手ができるかとなると、疑問というか不安です。マスクの徹底、人との距離を取る、手指のアルコール消毒の徹底が染みついているからです。郷に入っては郷に従うのが一番だと思うのでヨーロッパに行けたならば、その時の状況で、踏み切れるのかもしれません。

LynxVegas 2022-05-10 11:35

I was recently forced to take public transport temporarily as my car needed a big repair. Within a week, I had caught a cold (at least, I hope it was a cold). All the way through the pandemic I drove. Not once did I catch anything, not even a cold. I rarely get sick and I put that down to driving (away from public transport plague carriers) or alcohol (from socializing), neutralizing anything from the ride home by bus/train/tram etc. As you have no idea how hygienic people are, hugs and handshakes should be avoided. That 3 kiss business I quite enjoy, but that is probably worst of all.

methownet.com 2022-05-09 20:32

Nix on all social contacts unless known to be safe. Many here in Washington state are still masked, and at age 82 my mask is always in my pocket ready to match those around me, but my Swiss wife at age 72, and I still avoid mass spreader events, as those that don't usually get Covid.

schwizer 2022-05-07 20:09

The following contribution has been automatically translated from DE.

I feel comfortable shaking hands with good friends and acquaintances again now. I don't like "boxing or Indian contortions.
When it comes to greeting kisses, it's good for me that I don't have to do that now. Many Swiss abroad do it wrong to the point of embarrassment. So I will always let this be in our country of residence, in Switzerland again very gladly. I only wear a mask now when necessary.

Ich fühle mich wohl, wenn ich guten Freunden und Bekannten jetzt wieder die Hände schütteln kann. Ich mag „Boxing oder indische Verrenkungen nicht.
Bei den Begrüssungsküssli ist es gut für mich, dass ich das jetzt nicht mehr tun muss. Viele Auslandschweizer/innen machen es falsch bis zur Peinlichkeit. Also werde ich das in unserem Wohnland immer sein lassen, in der Schweiz wieder sehr gerne. Eine Maske trage ich nur noch bei Bedarf.

Anonymous 2022-05-03 11:45

Covid Pandemic has brought out the secret in us. Many of us want more hygiene and more cleanliness.
Hugs and kisses in Switzerland are traditions which can be valueable but also be frowned upon.

If you don't like it, don't do it.

MexikanerMitFlow99 2022-04-30 01:52

The following contribution has been automatically translated from DE.

I didn't feel so comfortable shaking hands when I returned to school 5 months ago. Now I feel comfortable because circumstances have forced me to adjust. Also, I have to say that the low infection rates make us feel much more safe.

Ich fühlte mich nicht so wohl beim Händeschütteln, als ich vor 5 Monaten zur Schule zurückkehrte. Jetzt fühle ich mich wohl, weil die Umstände mich gezwungen haben, mich anzupassen. Zudem muss ich sagen, dass die niedrigen Ansteckungsraten uns viel mehr sicher fühlen machen.

Swisscott 2022-04-29 13:25

Some of the arguments below are regarding Swiss politeness. It is delusional. How about Swiss lineups? Do the Swiss think they are polite in lineups? How often have you had to fight your way to the front or protect your position in line because someone has or is trying to barge through without any consideration of those ahead of them?

I have been on crutches for the last 4 weeks due to an operation and I have been astounded by how few people consider the disabled. Whether it is someone barging ahead while I am struggling to get into a store/train/bus, or people completely ignoring me to offer a handicap seat on the train or bus. In a particularly shocking episode, I was going to watch a short movie in a museum, and because I was so slow entering the small theatre, when I arrived, every seat was taken along the back wall (the only seating with back support), and I walked past no less than 20 people to the other side of the theatre, without one person offering me their place, so I stood with my crutches way off to one side to watch the 15 minute movie. Add insult to injury, I was twice jostled on my way out while people rushed past me.

The two times I had people offer me their seat on a bus, both times were women with Hijab’s. Open your eyes.

Polite Swiss - lol

LoL 2022-05-02 12:54

@Swisscott

If you just asked anyone to offer you a seat they would. Coming from different country I was also shocked that no one make sauce for grandma or anything but they are not rude they are different, here you just simply has to re that you would like to seat down and people will be actually most helpful. People mind their own business here but are helpful if you ask them.

Anonymous 2022-05-03 11:42

@Swisscott

You have unrealistic high expectations from a society where individualism is their main focus, learned from school teachers and heavily influenced via US/UK movies.
Western culture.

Swisscott 2022-05-03 13:19

@LoL

Mind their own business?? The Swiss? You’re kidding me.

Swisscott 2022-05-03 13:20

@Anonymous

Individualism that somehow fits into their norms and traditions.

Jean-Marc Philippe 2022-04-28 18:04

The following contribution has been automatically translated from FR.

I was brought up in France and I find it warm to be kissed, 4 in Paris, 2 in the south, 3 elsewhere and it is friendly. Handshakes are part of the welcome and I still do them. Of course, washing hands as much as possible and not kissing when we are sick has always been the rule. So I am for keeping these traditions which are a way to welcome.

J'ai été élevé en France et je trouve chaleureux les bises, 4 à Paris, 2 dans le sud, 3 ailleurs et c est convivial. Les poignées de mains font parties des marques d accueil, de bienvenues et je continue à les faire. Bien entendu se laver les mains le plus possible et ne pas faire de bises quand nous sommes malade à toujours été la règle. Donc je suis pour garder ces traditions qui sont un moyen de souhaiter la bienvenue.

Swisscott 2022-04-24 09:48

Growing up in Canada I feel we have most genuine greetings, even if many Swiss (some of whom are unbelievably rude in many other ways) find some of them rude.

Handshakes - only offered for formal introductions.

A smile, a wave, a “Hey, how’re you doing” for non formal introductions and greeting friendly acquaintances and casual friends and neighbours.

Face kisses - for children or other family, and one is plenty. Occasionally for old friends not seen in a long time.

Hugs - reserved for good, and/or old friends. Generally not given if these friends are seen on a daily or weekly basis…saved for genuine show of affection, men-men, men-women, women-women.

The Swiss and many other European cultures have developed greetings which make Canadians and Americans feel as though their privacy has been invaded.

Sadly, even after COVID, it appears it is here to stay.

Susan Misicka 2022-04-26 17:20

@Swisscott

It's so interesting how personal space is valued in different cultures. This reminds me of a conversation I had with a Swiss etiquette expert about choosing a seat on the train. She said, "You should sit diagonally, space permitting" -- meaning that if it's not crowded, people should spread out. More tips here: [url]https://www.swissinfo.ch/eng/society/swiss-train-etiquette/44854438[/url]

Rafiq Tschannen 2022-04-23 05:08

The crazy thing about the handshake is that some Muslim immigrants who wanted to obtain Swiss citizenship were denied, because they did not feel comfortable to shake hands with the opposite sex. And later on all of a sudden handshakes were out. Have these decisions now been revoked? (I do not think so). / The same with the Burka debate. All the fuss about a few ladies wanting to wear the Burka when all of a sudden the whole country had to cover their faces or face punishments. funny really.

LoL 2022-04-24 23:20

@Rafiq Tschannen

It is false logic. Your examples had nothing to do with one another. They were denied their passports because they were not integrated well to discriminate towards woman in such way. Everyone stopped handshakes out of fear of death and laws as you said the same with masks, it was a protection mechanisms. Now everything is returned to normal and not shaking a woman's hand and covering your face in public is now not necessary and is not a part of Swiss culture. Thus you can't compare thous situations.

Mandy YC 2022-04-25 18:02

@Rafiq Tschannen

As an Opposite Sex, I have to say I can’t agree on your logic. When in Rome, do as the Romans do, please don’t drag their disrespect of women here.

Rafiq Tschannen 2022-04-27 04:52

@Mandy YC

Actually, when Muslims do not want to shake hands with the opposite sex, it is definetely NOT due to disrespect, but in fact due to respect. Seems some cross cultural education is needed...

Mandy YC 2022-04-27 16:35

@Rafiq Tschannen

For some reason part of my previous message wasn't shown, in which I mentioned the reason that those Muslim men had been denied Swiss citizenship (I did follow up the news and still remember the plots).

In fact I grew up in a Muslim region and am familiar with their culture and religion, I had and still have Muslim friends, so, you see, I'm neither a narrow-minded person, nor need "cross cultural education", and I know what is behind your so-called "respect". Could I say that the Taliban, out of their respect for the opposite sex, deprives the right of education of girls and women? Or, the Middle East countries, out of their respect for the opposite sex, deprive the right of work of women? (I have other questions like these, but out of respect I'm stopping here.)

But, hey, we live in AD 2022 Switzerland, and not AD 630 Arabian Peninsula. Modern women want our capacities be recognised, our rights be respected, and our existence be protected. I guess we're not demanding too much.

And, again, I know what I wrote above has nothing to do with shaking hands with or hugging a stranger. As I cited, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. As an Asian woman from a reserved culture, I can learn to "faire la bise" with Europeans (and out of respect I won't hide from a out-stretched hand from a stranger either), I'm sure those respectful Muslim men can also learn to shake hands with their European opposite sex.

LoL 2022-04-28 11:04

@Rafiq Tschannen

Not needed. It is a sign of disrespect in Switzerland, they wanted to become swiss hence need to respect the culture. Even if for muslim it is out of respect not to touch a woman, it is definitely considered extremely rude here, I feel sorry that you integrated so badly here not to understand that. Switzerland is about equality in everything, bringing old fashioned and retarded ideas thous define what is OK and what is not for any gender is atrocious and for what ? for some religion... The world should move on and abandoned all religions as it drives conversation like this nowhere. Evidently you will not accept swiss position about thous boys who followed religion principals of their choice and not cultural ones of a country he wants to reside and become a part of.

SensibleMike 2022-04-22 13:09

In my opinion hugs are uncomfortable when you do not really know the person; but they are all too common now; I avoid them, but sometimes people just pounce and go for it. Hugging acquaintances seems very crude to me. Of course hugging is natural within family and close friends.

Handshakes? I have noticed that many men do not wash their hands, before/after eating, and even after using toilet. I have been told it is the same with women as well. Then when eating, many people will lick their fingers (yes, same hands/fingers, which have gone thru a lot of touching). These observations are from UK; not sure how it is in other countries.

So, with many people I try the "namaste" with an occasional bow; much simpler, and no need for hugs where you can actually smell a person. But some people keep pushing their hand forward, so I do the handshake.

I have used some excuses to avoid handshakes- e.g. keeping both hands occupied.

I much prefer the namaste; much more graceful, rather than shaking and yanking arms and hands. The Japanese bow is another graceful option, but I do not see it being used.

INTERESTING: Free food anyone? A few years ago I read an article about some research done in New York eateries and bars. In many eateries, bars, restaurants, some free nibbles/canapes/nuts are served. Various dips or sauces may also be provided.

The researchers tested these foods, and found substantial concentrations of urine and various other matter which I would rather not name here. This is obviously because people use their (unwashed/dirty) hands to grab/dip foods.

A close friend of mine, washes hands BEFORE using the toilet, but not after. When I asked him why, he answered- Why shall I touch my body with dirty hands? He remains a friend, but I never shake his hands.

Susan Misicka 2022-04-26 17:11

@SensibleMike

Yikes -- reminds me of a Seinfeld episode where they talked about double-dipping!

Mandy YC 2022-04-22 11:13

The following contribution has been automatically translated from ZH.

When I first came to Switzerland as a Chinese, I was very uncomfortable with the face-to-face ritual - I had to kiss three times! But I got used to it over the past decade or so. Instead, it was the social distance between the two years of the epidemic that made me feel overwhelmed and I would miss the closeness of the old days.

As a woman I haven't encountered anyone asking to shake my hand, but I did notice that I was hugging my family and friends more and was really stifled during the first two years. But with people I'm meeting for the first time, I don't venture to shake hands or do a face-to-face salute yet, because I have an Asian face anyway and everyone understands.

Usually I don't use the "disinfectant" to disinfect my hands when I go to the supermarket (I do disinfect the cart) because my skin is sensitive and I can't stand frequent disinfection. But when I come home from the outside, I take off all my outer clothes and wash my hands carefully before I change into the clothes I wear at home.

作为华人，刚来瑞士的时候我非常不习惯这里的贴面礼——竟然还要吻三下！但十几年下来慢慢也习惯了。反而是疫情的两年间的社交距离，让我感到不知所措，会怀念以前的那种亲密。

身为女性我还没碰到有人要跟我握手的情况，但我确实注意到，自己和家人朋友的拥抱多了，前两年里真的被憋坏了。不过跟第一次认识的人，我还不会冒冒失失握手或行贴面礼，反正我长了张亚洲脸，大家都理解。

通常我去超市不太会用那里的“消毒剂”给手消毒（给推车消毒的情况有），这是因为我皮肤敏感，频繁消毒皮肤受不了。但从外面回到家，我会把所有外衣脱掉，然后认真洗过手，才换上在家穿的衣服。

Anonymous 2022-04-21 20:50

We are becoming careless and putting ourselves at risk. An ounce of prevention...

Annalina 2022-04-21 00:52

The following contribution has been automatically translated from DE.

Quite normal and good ... as if nothing had happened.... or then rather more intimate and heartfelt!

Ganz normal und gut ... als ob nichts gewesen wäre.... oder dann eher inniger und herzvoll!